50 Things That Make A Man Want To Marry You – The Ultimate Guide To Understanding A Man’s Commitment

Yup, you’re struggling to get your guy to commit. He is scared to death of the idea of marriage, and runs away from serious conversations that talk about it. Frustrated, you feel like he’s just taking you for a ride, and wonder if he will ever pop the question. The ugly truth is, you’re not making him WANT to pop the question.

Yeah, you heard it right: you don’t make him FEEL like he should want to commit to you in that fashion. Instead, you are making him feel quite the opposite. By always bringing it up and pressuring him, you are actually making him BELIEVE that he is becoming TRAPPED with you.

You see, men fear being trapped. They fear being stuck in a relationship or with a woman where they have no freedom, no control, no privacy, no time to themselves, no space etc… Therefore, anything that makes a man BELIEVE or feel as though he is being trapped, is an instant reason for him to say “NO” to marriage, and “NO” to commitment.

This is why it’s extremely important for a woman to learn HOW to act around a man so that she can make him actually want to marry her. It’s even more important to understand how a man’s mind works, and how he looks at a relationship, and at you, so that you can KNOW exactly what it is that you need to do to make him marry you.

To help you out, here are 50 things you can do to make a man want to marry you- and trust me, these tips are the ULTIMATE guide to understanding and GETTING a man to commit:

#1. Do what he asks you to do, without question – If a man asks you for a favor, and you question him and say “why”…he will instantly feel like you just don’t want to do it. If you have to ask him why, it sounds like you need him to CONVINCE you to do it.If he has to convince you to do things, do you really understand him?

#2. Maintain yourself – Men are visual, which means if you let yourself go, he will lose interest. He doesn’t want to commit to a woman who is only going to get worse. Maintain yourself physically and health wise, to prove you are willing to be the best you can be for him.

#3. Trust him – Don’t be scared that he’s going to run off with some other woman, or that he’s lying to you about everything. Don’t think that he’s really untrustworthy and nag him about your own insecurities. Show him that you trust him and give him the benefit of the doubt FIRST, before you assume anything or blame him for something.

#4. Regularly give him space – Every guy wants time alone. We all need our personal space, and it’s better if you can give that to him without him having to ask for it or beg you. Do it naturally, and he will appreciate you and think you are marriage material.

#5. Be there for him, even if he says nothing about the problem – Show you are supportive of him, by BEING there; WITHOUT questioning him on the problem. Let him open up if he wants to, but if he doesn’t show him you are really there for him by being behind him regardless of whether or not he opens up to you.

#6. Be financially dependent – It can help a man to know that you aren’t going to take every last penny he has.Some men fear marriage, because they are afraid of losing all of their money (in a divorce, or even just because of a wife’s spending). Thus, you can show him that you aren’t after his money by becoming financially dependent.

#7. Compliment him – After we know someone for a while, we start to lose the “flattery”.We stop trying to impress our partners, because now we have them, and we compliment them less. Every guy wants to feel like he is great, desired, helpful, amazing etc… Let him know that you STILL believe this, and show him that you will be a positive partner for the long run by complimenting him.

#8. Learn his insecurities – It’s not something people walk around talking about, but sometimes a man hints that he is insecure about something, so that you can avoid the topic or avoid hurting him in the future.When you know his insecurities, you know exactly what it is that you should NOT do, in order to keep him COMFORTABLE.

#9. Don’t act out toward your man – If he says something that hurts your feelings, or if he does something you disagree with…most women’s first reactions would be to become dramatic and emotional and nag the guy. Don’t do this…because it tells him that you are a nightmare to marry, because instead of remaining calm and allowing him some room to improve, you are just lashing out at him.

#10. Accept responsibility in a fight – Every relationship has its moments where they are disagreements and fights.The difference between a healthy relationship that encourages a man to marry you, and an unhealthy marriage that pushes a man away is this: blame or responsibility. Don’t be the partner who blames him for everything…instead be the partner who accepts responsibility and blame for the issue.

#11. Learn to take a joke…even if its personal – Men want a woman who is ABLE to laugh at herself, because if you don’t…you’ll always feel insecure, hurt, and upset when people joke about you, or when your man tries to tell you something he thinks is funny about you. He doesn’t want to have to feel sorry for thinking something was funny…because no one can really control the things that make us laugh in the first place.

#12. Learn to take criticism – Men criticize to see improvement, and they do it in order to try to help you see things in a different light.They also criticize to try and show you a solution or a better way to do something, if they see you are struggling. This is why you should learn how to take criticism, because if you freak out every time he criticizes you, you tell him that you won’t be able to improve in the future.

#13. Be serious where it’s necessary – There’s nothing more discouraging, or annoying to a man, than a woman who does not take SERIOUS issues seriously.A serious issue is something that he considers to be important, and if you can’t take it seriously, he thinks that you don’t take HIM or yourself seriously.

#14. Keep your promises – A man views it like this: if you can’t even keep a simple promise, how will you keep and uphold the promise of marriage to him? This is why it’s important to uphold the promises you have now.

#15. Don’t use excuses – Excuses are the purest lies, because instead of being honest or accepting failure, you make excuses instead.To a man, this is like saying: “I don’t want to be open and upfront with you, and instead will beat around the bush and try to fool you”. A woman who is marriage material wouldn’t need to do this.

#16. Be COMFORTABLE around him – He wants to grab your love handles, and suddenly you are pulling away, asking him if he thinks you’re fat.You also become insecure when he wants to make love to you. Or you just struggle to open up to him. All of these things tell him that you are not comfortable around him, make him feel insecure, and make him QUESTION the point of marrying you.

#17. Show love with ACTION – Sure, you said you love him; but words only get you so far. He wants to see you SHOWING it with your actions. Thus, if you know something irritates him…don’t do it. If you know he needs you to do something, follow through with it. Prove that you love him by doing the things that you know he would appreciate.

#18. Don’t be afraid to draw the lines – If you can’t draw the lines with him…who else will you draw them with then? A woman, who doesn’t clearly define her boundaries, is a woman who may let other men do whatever they want to her. To a man, that’s not “wife” material…because in the future, he doesn’t want to have to worry about you being unable to draw the lines with other men either.

#19. Show appreciation – A man doesn’t do things for you for free…he does it to get a result. The result is to see you happy, to impress you, and to make you AND himself feel good. BUT, if you never say “thank-you”, and if you never show him that you appreciate him, and the things he does…he will think it’s pointless to marry you.

#20. Encourage him to succeed daily – Why wait to tell him he can succeed or do well, until there’s a huge problem he has to confront?Encourage him DAILY, where you support him and tell him to be the best he can, and encourage him to complete his projects the best he can etc… Be there for the big AND small things…because daily life is a struggle too, and daily life is stressful too.

#21. Take his problem solving advice – You talk to him about your problems, and suddenly he is telling you what to do and what not to do…in order to help you solve it. You may only want to be heard, and don’t want him to solve your problems…but once in a while take his advice to show him that his input is appreciated and valid, because usually it is. (If you don’t take his advice, he will feel like you only want to be in problems always.)

#22. Be calm when he is stressed – When a man is stressed it can be a HUGE problem, because he acts out of character, is unpredictable, may lash out at you, and may withdraw.BUT, instead of blaming him and arguing, just be calm and let the storm pass. He needs to know that you UNDERSTAND him in that area, and doesn’t need a woman who makes it all about “herself” when he has something stressful going on.

#23. Use the things he gives you – If he gives you a gift, some advice, a tool etc…whatever it is that he gives you, he is doing so because he thinks you’ll like it, it will help you, or that it could improve your life. Letting them sit to collect dust tells him that you really don’t care about his input or the things he has to offer.

#24. Do FOR him before you ask OF him- Men don’t mind giving everything to the woman they love, BUT if he always feels like you are taking, taking, and taking some more…and aren’t giving anything, he will start to feel discouraged. This is why you should always DO things for him, before you ask him to do things for you…so that he will feel 100% thrilled to do whatever it is you are asking, even if you are asking him to marry you.

#25. Disagree without disappointment – There will be differences, BUT the main issue is how you HANDLE the differences between each other.If you handle disagreements by arguing and becoming disappointed when you don’t take his side, you are showing him that you are emotionally immature. But, if you disagree without feeling disappointed, you show him that you can respect his opinion, even if you don’t think its right for you.

#26. Ask when you don’t know – If you’re afraid to ask him something, how will he ever feel like he can truly communicate to you? Not only this, but if you never ask him the things you are curious about, you’ll often end up looking for answers on your own, which leads to assumptions. These assumptions are often incorrect, almost 99.9% of the time. A man wants to be understood, and one of the quickest ways is to ask him, when you don’t know…instead of assuming or wondering always.

#27. Don’t pressure him – If you constantly get on his case about something, and if you’re constantly trying to CONVINCE him to do something, you should STOP right there.That’s pressuring him, whether you mean to or not, and will make him feel like you’re telling him what to do. Men HATE to be told what to do, especially in regard to the relationship!

Let him decide on his own and encourage him by instead, saying that you’d love it if he did something and leave it at that.

#28. Respect him – If he has boundaries, don’t cross them.If he values privacy in certain areas, observe it. If there is something you dislike about him, don’t go complaining to your family and girlfriends about it, behind his back. There are many examples, but the main point is that you RESPECT him, so that he can feel valued, appreciated, and upheld.

#29. MAINTAIN his interest – Marriage is a LONG-term relationship, which means that you will consciously have to make efforts to keep his interest. You won’t be able to keep his interest if he knows EVERYTHING about you, and nothing changes. This is why it’s important to learn new things, new skills, and to create a life outside the relationship so that you have things to keep and spark his interest.

#30. Learn from your mistakes – He doesn’t want to marry a woman who will constantly do things that hurt him, because she doesn’t change and doesn’t learn from her mistakes.EVEN if it takes time and an intense effort to change your bad habits, DO it anyway, to show him that you are willing to be the kind of wife he desires: a woman who is her best self.

#31. Understand your emotions – It’s called emotional maturity, where a woman has her emotions under control and doesn’t let them run her life.This means that you know how to handle your feelings when they become intense, so that you don’t impress them on your man…and it also means that you understand where they are coming from, so that you aren’t blaming him every time you feel angry, upset, disappointed, and sad etc…

#32. Evaluate yourself regularly – A guy doesn’t always want to have to point out everything that you’re doing wrong, or your flaws, or mistakes…because you are completely oblivious to them and have to ask him what’s wrong. Evaluate yourself regularly to ensure you are improving and are moving forward internally and externally.

#33. Show him that you can let things go – He’s a man, and he’s not perfect. He’s not going to know EVERYTHING about you, which means he is bound to make some mistakes along the way. He needs to know that if he does, that you can forgive him…instead of holding a grudge against him for the rest of eternity. He’d rather marry a woman who can let things go and can give him room to improve; than a woman who never lets him get past a mistake he made.

#34. Prove you are committed – If he’s going to commit to you, he has to believe 100% that you are already committed or that you will be if he asks the question.This means that you have to stick with him through the thin and problematic times (instead of running off or arguing), and that you are loyal to him (not flirting with other guys, getting rid of bad exes, supporting him instead of talking against him) etc…

The point is that you stay with him mentally, physically, and intimately no matter what.

#35. Listen to him as much as possible – Even if he’s talking about something that you hate, don’t share a passion in, or simply don’t understand…listen to him. If he’s talking about cars or some coworkers…he’s only doing it to try and spark a subject with you and to connect with you.

He wants to be able to talk to you about anything that’s on his mind, even if you’d rather talk about something else…listen to him, because it makes him feel like you’re still interested, and shows him that you can be with him through everything; even the ‘boring’ times, because life isn’t always that interesting.

#36. Be able to be alone and quiet with him – Some women worry that if a man isn’t talking, that he must have lost interest or something is wrong.It’s quite the opposite: a man loves to be able to enjoy a silent and quite moment with a woman, because it’s a perfect moment. He doesn’t have to say or do anything, but can just appreciate you being there beside him. Give him those moments, and show him that you love it too.

#37. Let him know your expectations – He doesn’t want to be the guy who constantly disappoints you or has no idea if he’s walking on egg shells with you, because you never clarified what your expectations are to begin with.The quickest way to making him feel comfortable around you for the long run is to get him to understand you, which requires you to open up about what it is that you expect.

#38. Challenge him – When you first met, you were a challenge, because he had to work very hard to get you, and to make you like him. But now that he has you, he still needs to feel challenged and needs to feel like you’re the type of woman to be worked for.He doesn’t want an easy ride, or an easy woman…

But; he wants someone who can challenge him in all kinds of ways, such as challenging him to change or be better, challenging him to keep your interest etc… This keeps him glued to you, instead of having him interested in other women.

#39. Be sexually pleasing – Sex can become pretty boring, especially if you always do the same things over and over…which is a HUGE problem, because intimacy is important in a long-term relationship. Ask him what his fantasies are, learn new tricks in bed, and ultimately surprise and encourage him there, so that he feels like you’re someone who he could stay with and marry…because you don’t disappoint him in the bedroom.

#40. Divide your time elsewhere – One of the scariest things to a man is a woman who clings on for dear life, and doesn’t let go.It’s the type of woman who acts like her life would end if he leaves her alone even for a day. Learn to divide your time so that it’s not 100% on him, so that he doesn’t feel like he has to constantly baby sit you and entertain you. In other words: get a life outside of him and the relationship.

#41. Be honest – This means no WHITE lies, no omissions, and no downright lies.If you can’t be open with him, why would he feel like he should commit to you? He doesn’t want to be with a woman who withholds things, or a woman who is afraid to be open and honest with him, because she fears his reaction.

Remember that honesty is accepted, and even if it hurts its temporary…but lies are REJECTED, and is permanent pain, because they take away his trust in you.

#42. Trust him with your personal things – Tell him your secrets and show him that you have put your trust in him by trusting him with everything that you can, so that he knows you truly do consider him to be someone you can confide in and depend upon.This makes him want to commit to you, because it gives him something to PROTECT, challenges him, and gives him a solid way to prove himself to you…all of which keep a man hooked and make him feel important.

#43. Accept him – Some things about him may be hard to accept, and you may want to change lots of things about him. BUT, when you don’t accept him for who he is, and how he is, he feels like you really don’t want to be with him. Leave it up to him to change, and instead accept him…to show him that you truly do want him; and to make him understand that he can always be himself with you.

#44. Surprise him – This can be very difficult to do, but will impress him when you pull it off, and will show him that you really do make efforts toward him. A good example is when you do something for him, without him even having to ask…and that something is what he desired all along.

The element of surprise in a relationship keeps him interested and gives him a reason to stick around for the long run, because it shows that you still have lots left to offer that he doesn’t even know about.

#45. Be spontaneous – Organizing your life down to every last detail leaves little left to the imagination and takes the fun out of the relationship. Not only this, but a man may feel completely controlled (which he hates) when you try to organize his and your life into a schedule.

Sure, it can be easier to know when something should happen, BUT, planning every little thing FOR him makes him feel like you’re just too bossy.Be spontaneous instead, and let some things happen as they occur, instead of as you plan them.

#46. Make him laugh – Though it can happen naturally, once he gets to know you, he may not find the same “old” things to be funny anymore…because he is used to them. This is why you have to make an active and conscious effort to instill humor in the relationship, and to make him laugh…so that he can feel relieved, happy, de-stressed etc…

As the saying goes “laughter is the best medicine”; and it most definitely is an attractive trait for a “wife”.

#47. Be romantic – It shouldn’t be his job to always be romantic, take on that role and please him in a romantic fashion, so that he knows you aren’t simply expecting him to do everything.Guys like to be romanced as well, just in a different way; and doing this shows him that you are willing to make efforts to please him, and every guy wants to be pleased.

#48. Place importance above your-self where necessary – Relationships are about TWO people, not one…which is why it can’t always be about you. You can show him that you care, by placing importance of his things over your own things…even your own problems, if your problems are not as large. Sometimes you have to be able to concentrate on him, above yourself, and have to prove you truly do care, so that he will believe you are marriage material.

#49. Know your role – If there is a certain role that he expects a woman to play in a relationship and in a marriage, but you absolutely disagree with it…why would he want to spend his life with someone who is not willing to accept the expectations he has? Instead of challenging the role, accept it and show him that you can follow it.

#50. Let him know that he fulfills you NOW – Men worry about whether or not they will be able to support you, keep you happy, sustain interest etc… which is why they avoid marriage and avoid the commitment topic. If you want him to marry you, let him know that everything he is doing RIGHT NOW, is exactly what is necessary to sustain you in the future, so that he sees he is truly fulfilling and pleasing you…and stops worrying about being unable to, because he’d see he already is ABLE.